DayTrader

I know you asked for "uplifting" words, and I'm sure you'll get lots of them......but I dunno that they'll help.

For me, each time I got "uplifted" into thinking "it would be ok, you can give it another shot, it'll be different this time around" and so forth......all that did was keep me in the delusion that I could control my addiction and that self-will would suddenly work this time. Sometimes, "uplifting words" are nowhere near enough. ie... if I can't swim, and I'm suddenly tossed into a lake, all the "you're great, you're special, you're ok's" in the world won't keep me from drowning .......some quick swimming lessons will though.

REALIZING the first part of the first step - powerless over alcohol - doesn't really "feel" good. Truthfully, it "feels" pretty crumby. I don't LIKE that I'm powerless over booze......I don't LIKE that I can't keep myself sober........I don't like that I can't always think through the drink, remember how bad the last bout was, and just stay sober today.

I don't believe my alcoholism really gives a damn about what I like though. As a matter of fact, it seemed to use the fact that I didn't like admitting I couldn't keep myself sober as a tool to trick me into believing I COULD keep myself sober..........which never seemed to last.....and I'd end up drunk again.

Maybe what you're feeling.....that feeling of hopelessness IS just what you need. It's what I NEEDED, that's for sure. I needed to get it jammed in my face that, over and over, I'd just keep getting drunk unless I found SOME sort of program/power/solution that was outside of my best thinking and/or all the best thinking of all the folks who'd given me advice on how to avoid picking up that next first drink.

Maybe yer like me and you'll have to go find some sort of power greater than yourself and live a life on a spiritual basis if you ever want to have any sort of chance at staying sober.

Hearing that for the first time sure didn't sound "uplifting" to me......LOL. Turns out though, it was what I NEEDED to hear......and maybe what you need to hear too.

best of luck to you.

DT.