It hit me like a freight train today.
Hello friends on SR.
Well, Today was a good day, productive at work , and within 10 mins of getting home, the anxiety began again.
So many years of drinking , so many nights avoiding life.
Anxiety , regret , guilt.
My rational head tells me that they are just emotions, and feelings.
Feelings are not what the real world is, it is just my interpretation.
I drank because I didnt like being lonely, and I know that the alcohol made me alienate everyone.
Behaviour I detested. Drink and dial, driving drunk, sending emails to anyone in my recipients list, at any hour , about any subject.
As I write this thread , I feel a little more settled .
To be honest, my first thought was to drive back to town and buy alcohol.
I guess I cant help the first thought, but I can make a choice not to react to it and choose a more appropriate course of action.
Thanks for reading .
I appreciate being a member of this forum
L .