Looking,
Your post breaks my heart. You are so strong to go through everything you are going through all at once. I remember all those hormones and days were I didn't think I could move off the couch. I'm glad to hear you are going to an alanon meeting, I think it will help you so much and will give you someone to vent to face to face who knows what it's like to deal with our sometimes grumpy addicts. welcome!
Hugs,
Marci