Welcome to SR Cassandra. I am so terribly sorry snout your daughters. They say that is the worst thing that a parent can go through.
Grief was the trigger that spiraled my drinking out of control. I thought I would drink until the pain went away...only it morphed into something else and took on a life of its own with the booze.
You can be happy again...for your sake and that of your daughter.
Xoxoxo,
Tina