Answering one aspect of the first post -
no, it's not a conflict of interest.
People in AA help out others all the time.
also -
nothing wrong with asking questions
however -
I 'sensed' that there was a 'flavor' of
'pre-decision' making going on
and maybe that's what made you ask?
I am not sure exactlyhow to ask a question
based on a 'feeling' I get from reading but -
kinda like -
she's in AA automatically no
or
husband suggested her automatic no.
that kind of thing,
and if that *is* the question
then I have to say I sensed it going on as well.
I mean,
Betty Ford is also a recovering alcoholic.
Recovering alcoholics can produce references.
Recovering alcoholics are not automatically failures as humans
and aren't always people who fail repeatedly at everything.
Just an aspect to consider.
I think Cyranoak puts this well -
That said, you've never left your kids with anybody except close friends or family members. To me, a recovering controlling and overprotective father, that seems a little TOO controlling. I'd encourage you to look into that. Again, I agree with you about this particular woman, but I'd bet dimes to dollars that, like me, you are a control freak (and not just about your children).
SO *no* - I don't think you ACTED out of line.
I am sensing that you may have an inner light flashing
about it being so 'automatic'.
and if that *is* what I picked up on,
it doesn't make it 'wrong'
it makes it something to put on the 'needs a little work' list.
jus' sayin.