Originally Posted by
Learn2Live 
And for me, the problem with aiding someone (on a regular basis like this--two days a week, every week) because they are in recovery versus not aiding someone because they are actively using, is that looking at it this way still bases MY decisions about how I live MY life on how SOMEONE ELSE is thinking and acting.
I agree, making the decision based on whether or not he is in recovery or not is futile. The bottom line for me in this decision (which i haven't fully made YET, is, does it work for me. If not? No ride. If it works for me? No sweat. Doesn't matter to me what he's doing or if his life is disrupted by it.
However:
Originally Posted by
Learn2Live HaHaHa, listen to me, I sound like someone expects ME to pick them up two nights a week and I'm defending myself! :rotfxko I know what triggered that: My body is remembering the panicking, sick feeling I would get whenever I thought he was drinking or drugging again. Yech!
Nice job identifying the trigger! "Doesn't matter to me what he's doing," I just said above... but the truth is, that panicking and sick feeling is what happened when I saw the pics of him drinking on facebook, I was triggered, and thats why i deleted him. I HATE that feeling, and I do fear the triggers, but I need to push through the fear, to grow. When I feel it again, I will know. I am aware, and I will continue to take action. The self awareness is awesome, and scary... but awesome. I'm learning so much, and this post has done a lot for me everyone!! TY!