Lost 3000:
The BAD news is, you don't suck, you're an alcoholic.
The GOOD news is, you don't suck, you're an alcoholic.
And there are a LOT of us out there, just like you. Don't beat yourself up. It took me 2 weeks of posting on SR before I got up enough nerve to go to an AA mtg. Never touched a drink since.
Some practical advice...go buy a big bag of chocolate, reeses pb cups, m&m's, whatever. When you start craving a drink your body is actually physically craving the sugar in alcohol, and sweets reduce the craving. AA and practicing the 12 steps will reduce the cravings even further to the point where they'll barely cross your mind over time. I still eat a lot of chocolate.
Zube