Day 3, Really Day 1
I suck. I drank last night. Not a ton, but I did drink. I don't feel guilty, more like I let myself down. It's like something in my head said F it. And I went for it. I made the conscious decision to do it. I thought about it, I waited some time. I had the whole commute home to think about it. And I just decided to do it.
I regretted it as soon as I started feeling the affects. But no turning back. So I had a couple of vodka sodas and a couple of half glasses of wine.
So then of course I woke up in the middle of the night, didn't sleep well at all. And today I'm a bit depressed and down because of it. Partly because of the physicality of drinking and depression and partly because I let myself down. I want to be sober.
Does anyone here work in law? I do. I had a particularly long and hard day yesterday. I was in a courtroom and couldn't get away even for a bathroom break. I began to get really hungry and headachey. I did get a starbucks sweet drink right after leaving the courthouse, but it only temporarily eased my stress. I think that when I got home, I was still stressed and tired and hungry. A bad combo which is why I think it was easier for me to go ahead and drink.
Anyhow, I'll keep trying. Thanks for the support out there. I'm going to a mtg. over the lunch hour. There's one only a block or so from my office.