It's amazing, the depths of denial.
My ex actually did cocaine, felt bad about it, and for like..ONE MINUTE..acknowledged that the cocaine use was caused by a drinking problem. He cried to his parents about his drinking problem.
See, cocaine was one of my dealbreakers, and he did it. After promising me he wouldn't. When I tried to break up with him, he said, wait wait, I did coke cuz I have a drinking problem. You wouldn't leave someone with a drinking problem would you? How could you leave me in my hour of need?
However, when I asked when he was going to go to AA, the next day, he didn't feel like he needed it. I told him, ok, you said you had a problem. You cried to your parents. You made me feel guilty if i didn't stay with you to support you while we get help.
Why don't we do a test. See if you can stay sober for 30 days. If you can't, then you gotta admit you need help.
Well, this all happened a couple weeks before July 4th. The Friday of July 4th weekend, he told me he was going to the bar with his friends because, it's July 4th!! Of course! I said, ok, fine but if you do that, I'm walking.
He decided to let me walk.
A month later he told me he was sorry he let me go. He claimed he was doing therapy and going to AA, so I went back with him, stupidly, way too soon. I thikn he went to 1 therapy appt and 1 AA Meeting. That was it. Next thing you know he's back at the bar again.
And where were his parents during all this? NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Not helping me or supporting me at all.
Originally Posted by
ukiah77 
My AH's parents know their son is an alcoholic, they've known for years but chose to ignore it and bury their heads in the sand. They used to provide alcohol to him and his friends when they were teenagers. I have been reaching out to them for support when things got really bad at home. I found the courage to be open and honest when I told my father in law about some scary situations that happened when AH was drunk, and how I was concerned that it was starting to effect our children. I thought he was going to be understanding because he has witnessed a lot of this behavior with his own eyes for many years now. He looked at me and said, "Well, I'm not going to judge my son based on hear say from you, I'm not sure what to believe...." Is he serious? Is he implying that I could be lying or making this stuff up? The holes in the walls and broken door hinges should be proof enough wouldn't you think? My father in law has also made comments in the past like, "I saw him last night and he didn't seem that drunk to me...." Drunk is drunk, either you are or you're not. That night my AH was wasted, yes he was still walking and talking, but he was agressive and irrational and was on a rampage over nothing. I am hurt and disappointed with my in-laws reaction to me reaching out for their support in helping their son. They almost make it sound like I'm making a bigger deal than it is. But they don't live under my roof. They have no idea. It's too bad that when I tell them, they basically act like they don't believe me. It's sad. Really sad.