Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
...Now I think that no matter what happens with court, until HE decides to get help no one forcing it (not even the court) will matter.
Absolutely true - don't lose sight of this fact, regardless what happens.
Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy ...Given the option of saving AH's a$$ or mine, I choose mine.
...AH did not want me to fire my lawyer or testify. I kind of dread the fall out from this bc he will likely wind up with a record (if he doesn't take the plea deal) and lose his job and that WILL impact our kids pretty badly. But he made choices and it's not my job to protect him from the natural consequences of his behavior.
...In my mind I do feel guilty and feel a twinge of "I shouldn't do this to him" but the logical side of my brain knows this is irrational so I just need to remind myself of this.
You've been subpeona'd to testify in a court of law. What's being asked of you is to tell the truth, not save your derriere. Whether he chooses to take a plea is his call, and the consequences entirely his own.
I do get the reluctance to "do this to him" - but seriously, what would throwing your integity under the bus do to improve his long term prospects? Nothing.
Don't beat yourself up over this. Do what's right for your kids and yourself, and let go of the stuff that's out of your control.