In my mind I do feel guilty and feel a twinge of "I shouldn't do this to him" but the logical side of my brain knows this is irrational so I just need to remind myself of this.
Good, keep reminding yourself. You didn't do this to him. HE did this to him. You are correct, these are the consequences of HIS actions.
You are doing the best you can right now, and that is pretty darn good considering what you have been and are going through.
Hopefully, in time, you will be 'questioning' yourself less. We all had to learn that one. It sure took me time to learn to start 'trusting' my gut, lol
J M H O
Love and hugs,