Hey There
Hi-
I'm new to the board and when I read your post, I just wanted to wish you well and tell you to RUN don't walk to the next meeting. AA worked for me many years ago. You may not want to hear this, but if you feel any remorse for drinking then you probably have a problem with drinking, plain and simple. I am sorry if that is offensive and I don't mean to be, I just know from experience - I am an alcoholic, through n through, and I absolutely cannot take a drink ever again. AA taught me many yrs ago to just take 24 hours at a time.
Again, I hope you make the meeting and I wish you all the best.