Llilamy,
I am really grateful, no matter why he is unable to deal with parenting, that he is honest about it.
I spent several months there, trying to jam a square peg into a round hole, and finally not only detached from needing him to be a father present, everyday, meow, meow... But also made boundaries, and he agreed to them and did not push.
Not that he did not try to be w son a few times, and mess up... But at least he didn't do what he used to;
Which was to justify, deny and blame away his shortcoming in that arena, and blast on trying to do what he was unavailable for.
It was more like, " yes, I am not up to par on this, yet..."
I am grateful for his honesty and respect of the boundaries.
We had always had goodnight calls from RAH. I started to realize this was disruptive more than helpful for son.
RAH loved those "check in " calls-- maybe they made him feel like he was doing ok when he wasn't...as a father...
But he did not fight my assertion that it was too confusing. And son is calmer and clearer now, w more limited interaction.
Trusting his limits.... As I have had to learn to REALLY trust and respect mine.
Yes.
But I just wonder... Hmmm. Ya know. They can be so tricky.
As far as the car goes, yes. It is a gamble, but what we have is on it's last legs, and this is what he can offer. If it's in my name, what can be done? I mean to undermine me?
I decided first thing, if I do take the car, I would keep clear record of it and apply it to the past years of no support. I will make that clear.
Thank u everyone.