Hi Sasa,
Yea, Meetings aren't really "my thing" either, ....but they really helped me several times when I found myself getting wigged out a few times that first 4th or 5th month.
There's a bunch of us here at SR though. I really agree with Dee that these periods of internal turmoil are a finite experience.
You hang tough tonight, .....getting through some of these rough periods gave me a feeling of strength the following day.