I'm not clear as to what it is you are seeking in a custody dispute.. prevent visitation? Is he threatening taking full custody? Maybe I didn't read the full story in your posts.
In my experience working with families who are in these disputes, what I tell the moms is the judge has heard it all, seen it all etc. etc. Your situation isn't one they haven't already seen before (I say this to decrease your anxiety because I read lots of anxiety in your posts.. rightly so because you are dealing with a lot). And a good family law attorney knows how stressful this is and should be able to guide you. Personally, I wouldn't make any calls to get the ball rolling until you have consulted with the attorney first. Seems like it would compound your stress if you started the parole violation stuff.