Originally Posted by
Pelican 
This is YOUR life too
You are important
You matter
Your needs are important
If you need time and space away from him, then that is what you do. Give yourself time and space away from him.
He wants Plan A: spend time together this weekend for the girls
You want Plan B: Time to focus on your needs.
Your plan includes taking care of yourself. This will give you strength and inner peace to be a better you and a more fantastic Mom.
IMHO, his plan includes manipulation and guilt.
Based on my personal experience with my recovering alcoholic ex husband, our time together "for the kids" had very little to do with his spending quality time with the kids. It looked and felt more like his trying to impress me and spend time with me with "the kids" along to watch the show
PLAN C: Dad gets to spend time with the girls from ____________to __________ on _____________ date.
Mom gets to have time to focus on her needs and make her own special plans for quality time with her girls.
The girls get quality time with each parent.
Hugs to you!:ghug3
I am stuck on this one-- not that my needs aren't important-- I am stuck bc I don't want him alone with the girls. I don't trust him at all. It makes me anxious thinking about it. He has PROVEN time and time again that he can't control (or chooses not to) the urge to drink even when he's alone with them and KNOWS better.
So, I'm dreading the conversation of "either see them with me around or not at all". And since I have no legal right to say this right now it may turn into a fight.
Of course, he KNOWS he is breaking bail by drinking and I have proof of that and I could call and report him and that would solve the visitation alone problem pretty easily I'd guess. I'd hoped to not deal with this before the trial and to instead let the judge and lawyers deal with it and him on that date but maybe I ought to just make that call and start the ball rolling...
Ugh.