I definitely agree that a bar isn't the kind of place I need to be right now. I don't know if I can be strong enough. I'm cycling through so many mixed emotions. I'm good. I'm bad. etc. It's not that I'm worried about not seeing a show. Really, I didn't really "see" many of the shows anyway. I can remember very few.
I guess I just don't want to be the girl left behind. Even though my husband is supportive about me not drinking, supportive to the point of anger if I even so much as think of having a sip of beer, I don't want to look like I can't handle anything and be a problem in that way. I also don't want to resent him, because sometimes I do... just a little bit. I'm probably going to be really grumpy and moody and unpleasant that night.
This is what I plan on telling myself.
1. People don't like me drunk. They exchange glances at each other when they think I'm too out of it to notice... but I do.
2. If I have so much as one drink, I will be fighting with my husband all weekend. I really don't need the stress of trying to quit drinking and relationship troubles at the same time.
3. Well... I can't think of a third. At least there isn't another show for a while.
I <3 you guys already. I've really needed support for a long time and I'm glad to have found so many people here who understand what I'm going through. Here's hoping for a Saturday morning hurray post and not a Saturday afternoon post through a veil of tears.
