Originally Posted by
Shellcrusher 
Truth be told, I didn't want to rain on your party. I like reading your "progress" reports because you're constantly moving in what I consider to be a direction I want to go.
What I really wanted to say was that I find these moments of positive activity, at least for my AW, seductive moments and I don't like that. Sometimes my AW is overly nice to me, which is not normal. Or she does "the right" thing in my eyes and I find that behavior suspicious at best. I guess I kinda got scared for you and I don't want to project my stuff on you.
His answer was he was trying to show you how important you are to him. In my world that screams seductive quacking and my hairs stand up. Honestly, it was my reaction to your story. Perhaps even a trigger. At first you thought he was trying to get you out of the house faster and it sounds like you didn't like that thought. Then you had a breakthrough which is good but did you also have that questioning suspicious feeling beyond him getting you out? Did you feel any disbelief in his actions?
Again, I didn't want to rain on your party and progress or present a fear based opinion. Since you're living the changes, I'm that much more interested in how you're processing these things.
I agree with you that time is the answer.
Did I mention in the first post how uncomfortable I have been?! No, I don't "believe" in anything right now. But this is me trying.
I am so leery of everything and anything he does that I can hardly see beyond my own emotions. But...I have to acknowledge his actions as positive because today, this is what they are. Now...what he does AFTER I get settled remains to be seen. I suppose that's the consistency part of it all.
I don't trust him. But the beginnings of regaining trust have to start somewhere. And today that means to him, helping me move, and to me, letting him without constantly looking for the subconscious motivation that may or may not be accurate. I think looking for that is what keeps me in the anger mode...always questioning everything he does as quacking or genuine. So today, I am not going to question it. Just accept it as graciously as I can.
If I come on here next month and post HE IS MOVING INTO MY NEW HOUSE WITH ME NOW - you all have permission to give me the virtual a$$ whooping!
Oh - and yes, we are all jaded and mistrustful and that's
normal - who wouldn't after the crap we've been through? I don't know about you all, but I am pretty darn crispy these days. All I can say is...more to be revealed...and you know I'll share it with you!