Hi Jackrussellgirl
I have separated several times from my AH of 22 years, sometimes remaining in the property together and once actually moving out into my own place.
Whilst separated and living in my own place, and doing well with the 'no contact' I discovered my AH had been having a rather sordid internet affair that had started well before we parted and were still a 'couple' and I was devastated. I telephoned AH and gave him a piece of my mind and this led to us going to counseling and moving back in together. Fast forward 4 years!
I dont understand the logic of this when I look back. I have discussed this with my therapist and talked about possible fear of abandonment issues.
AH and I regularly go into 'mutual shutdown' over his antics and I eventually get to the stage whereby I discuss separation/divorce etc because that is truly how I feel at the time but then the love and life I have overtakes that feeling. Also the reason why I talk about separation/divorce etc is to shock him, show/tells him how much he has hurt me and want him to get straight so that he can tell me how much he needs me. He doesn't of course and I end up making the piece over and over again.
None of this was about me and my feelings of being done with my marriage. To be able to move on, I believe that you have to do it with no motives in mind and just know in your heart that you are doing it because you love yourself.
Not saying that your not done but that's my ESH after reading your thread.
I am sure there would be plenty of people who would still feel hurt/sad when an ex re marries long after a divorce. You feel what you feel, nothing you can do about that but dust yourself off and move on.