JRG
I am right there with you. I always thought the alcohol would come between us. I set deadlines that I never kept. "If he doesn't get better by the time our son graduates..." And things didn't get better...and they didn't get worse. I thought I did a good job detaching and living my life. Suddenly he said he didn't know if he wanted to be married.
WTF! Then I found out he had a "friend". So he was making it really easy to walk away right?
Not so much.
He is doing things that are so out of character and against all he ever professed to be his moral code. I blame a great deal of his behavior on his alcohol progressing. Maybe its what I need to believe for right now.
Nonetheless. I am hurt and astounded. So I get how you feel.
However, you are making some changes and this should not deter you from going on with your plan. I am making some changes in what I will accept in my life.
My husband's "friend" probably has no idea how much he drinks. I do and I know I no longer want that in my life. Do you?