Dear DAN,
You've gotten a lot of advice and suggestions from a lot of caring and wise people. I don't have much to add except just to say that I am thinking about you and I hope you can stop and that all turns out well. I logged on here from work today specifically to find out how you were doing, and I feel for you. This is a b**tard to kick, and it's not going to be easy even after a year of sobriety...but with a year of sobriety under your belt, you have some tools and experience at your disposal that not all of us have. At some point you just have to not take the next drink and feel the pain for a while. Stay in bed all day...eat a gallon of ice cream. Do what you have to do, but please do pour our the vodka and live to fight another day. Sending prayers and good wishes your way.