I know..even yesterday was at the store and I said to my boyfriend I'm gonna drink tonight. Not I would like to have A drink, but I'm gonna drink tonight. He started heading to the alcohol section, and I'm like- what are you doing?! You trying to kill me?! I'm just talking ****! It pisses me off I still want it, even though, like you say keithj, my life has been so much better without it.
And I know....it would be me killing myself.