Hello,
My name is Mareah and I am 16 years old. I went to Hazelden treatment center, in October.. and i really enjoyed it and learned a lot, but I havent been able to stay sober for more then 2 weeks! I feel terrible because I have put my family through hell with my addiction. Before i got sent to rehab I was smoking pot atleast twice a day..In the morning before school, at lunch, and after school. I smoked alone a lot too.. just because when I was high i felt i had no worries, no cares, and i loved that feeling. It was also a time I spent writing a lot, because i write a lot of poetry, and i felt even better about some of the things i wrote when i was high. I drank once and awhile.. but since i was on antidepressants, I usually got sick. So i stuck to pain pills, herb, and Dex. Since i have been back i went strait to alcohol.. and i loved it because i didnt think at all when i was drunk.. and it made me forget everything horrible I had done.. the cycle continued, and i went into convulsions many times.. it was scary, but not scary enough.. i guess! I ran away this summer for a few days.. and I realized how out of control I really can get.. I have been home now, and sober for going on 3 weeks I also quit smoking ciggaretts (not by choice).. Its extremley hard and I am so lonley.. I dont know what to do.. i exercise and stuff, but nothing seems to help.
Im stuck.. and I am worried what i will do once school starts,because in my parents mind this is the last chance.. (they have given me so many) before they send me away to a bording school.. or somthing else drastic, and i dont want that.. please help.. Mareah
