Why do you want to drink alcohol? There are complicated underlying reasons.
I am not an AA'er, not even available to me here except over the internet, no F2F, but I value the 12 steps (and other methods) to unearth those underlying reasons. They help with life in general also, not just with drinking.
Wine is good because it has anti-oxidants? Not my reason to drink. There are other anti-oxidants.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Being sober is sobering, and often painful, as I think you know. Being numb, is just waiting for the hammer to drop, in my humble opinion.
I haven't made a year yet, but if I do....