Wanttobe: I'm 41 and I guess it's never to late to learn something as big as this. Thank goodness we are trying to learn and can hopefully break the cycle with our own kids. I appreciate your empathy and wise words, that means a lot.
I spent a great deal of the day thinking about all of these posts and I'm sure they will help when I have to lay down the law with him. (His daughter is in town visiting and I don't want to ruin their week. On the positive side, we haven't communicated much and I think it's been really good for all of us).