I'm new to the board. From my recent experience, Hades, you ought to run as fast as you can. I stood by my ABF (was fiance) for quite a few years, couldn't take it anymore & had to put him out of my house but we still continued a relationship. Saw him go thru more stages after oxy use, short heroin use, crack use, laid off of the oxys but drank so much he started stinking with alcohol coming out of his pores, found out he had turned to methadone (not prescribed--but from somebody he knew); then was snorting percocets to maintain I guess. Recently we got to the point where we were at a stalemate. I was bitter. I felt like he had ruined my life. I wanted a huge, heartfelt apology of some sort for all I had endured. I wanted some sincere show of how he was changed--join NA or AA, or go to church. Just something!! Then something major happened with my son - something heartbreaking - and not many months after that my now Ex-ABF has started seeing someone else. He was seeing her during months that I was coping with the event with my son. How many years was I there for him? Quite a few. How many years did he support me when this happened with my son & brought me to my knees? 0. That's right. Zero. Because he couldn't help me past my bitterness or show me anything sincere, he decided to move on. All in one night I found out about her. And he blabbered so many details to me that I still can't believe he did. WTF???? (Is that still part of his addicted personality or brain damage from years of abuse???) He turned on me & said horrible things to me. Like all of our years together meant absolutely nothing. (I have read that addicts will push away or walk away from those who were with them throughout their addiction). And if that's not all, they live near where I live & work. They go to the grocery store across the street from my work. I see them in their vehicles, etc. And even though I had told him a couple of years ago that I didn't feel like I even liked him anymore (the nastiness in his personality) and that I wasn't sure about any love left either.... I'm devastated.... He's told me he's "clean" and by all appearances has moved on & is on his new high....falling in love with someone else.
So, I'm saying cut all ties & run---even if they make an attempt to get clean--they'll still resent you or even hate you for being there for them. Don't waste your years like I did. Just run!!