Yes brokenhearted...it was finally my utter disbelief in seeing how I was changing and acting just as irrationally as he is. I want to "blame" him for it, but it's my own fault for holding on so long and believing that I can save his life. I'm now starting to see how selfish my thoughts have been and in many ways, all of this has been about me. Yes, of course we love him and he loves us (we're his only family and I see what it does to him when I walk away). It's incredibly hard to lose someone who has been a huge part in our life, but ultimately, he needs to live or die. For better or worse.