Well, there are definately people who stay in their bubble with an active user, but I don't think that's what she is saying at all.Detaching is so tricky at first, we can do it in a punishing/witholding kind of way, but that's not real detachment.
I think when we start to truly detach, things become clearer and often we see that having a very close,intimate relationship with someone in active addiction is not a good option for us.
The book is not specific to spousal or love relationships.For example..when I detached from my daughter when she was using, I accepted that she was doing unhealthy, sick behavior.I stopped spending all my time and energy trying to get her better.I let her follow her own path (of destruction) without getting in the way.I could not live with her, so she had to move.It was not healthy for us to be in lots of contact, so I had very little contact with her.That was detaching..not letting her live on my house, throw fits, lie,steal,do drugs, etc. while I lay in my happy detached bubble.That would have been impossible.We sometimes choose not to have a front row seat to someones self destruction, even though we love them..that can be loving detachment as well.
It is hard at first to understand, but that book coupled with alanon meetings got me to a place where my decisions became really easy to make..