Harley, glad to hear you are doing well and heading home soon. Awesome.
Luckily, I am at the point where when I clean it stays clean. I've been waiting 29 years for this. LOL Now I have to learn how to 'clean deeper'. Not only in the house but with my sould.
But also trying to learn a new appreciation for relaxing...for not feeling like I have to be doing something all the time to prove anything to anyone that I can be functional. I am learning it is ok to sit and watch a movie or two on a Sunday afternoon without thinking I have to be doing something productive. Its hard sometimes.
I'm sorry you have to deal with mental illness' that keep you hindered in recovery. That too shall pass and hopefully soon it will ALL come together as it should.
I find that even on a day to day basis life seals itself. I learn, I grow and seams are growing permanently as so I don't have to unravel it again.
If you want to regain the strength to resume AA all you have to do is go (not necessarily alone) and swallow your pride. Not easy, I know, but I notice the more I swallow my pride the more of my idiosyncrasies are more commonplace than expected.
They are all feelings that need to be addressed.