thanks to all of you - I feel all warm and fuzzy knowing you all are there. I don't think I even knew how much I needed some extra support until I posted!
and wow.... didn't know we had so many ACM fans! I read the book around 1983 and it was like an electrical zap to my soul. It consumed me for years, but then I had to step away because applying it is SO difficult and mind-boggling. So I'd forget about it, just go on my way and would find myself drinking. This cycle has repeated itself a couple times - so although it's my path, I also know it can really get to me.
With the smoking, it's not so much the physical part as the mental/emotional part and that fact that I've always found it hard to sit still and especially to paint without it. If I'm up exercising or busy physically, I do better. I quit for 8 months - infact I didn't drink OR smoke for 8 months (several years ago) and was at a party........ and wanted just one glass of wine and one smoke.......just for fun you know........ and well, I'm sure you know the rest of the story.
Again, thanks for your input - it helps so much to talk with people who know EXACTLY what I'm sayin' - I can hear the spirit through your words. xoxoxo