Hi Kitty,
I am always amused by the way the perfect thread or post comes up at the perfect time.
I was at my cousin's wedding yesterday. I am still early in recovery and as an ACOA also, it was an effort that I am truly glad I made. I spoke with my cousins and their spouses and it is most interesting. They are very fond of my parents and we are fond of their parents and it is like the little bit of distance as nieces/nephews allowed our parents to be better with eachother's children.
I have so many thoughts going in my head now. I could write a book here, but I won't.
Thank you for being you and I wish you the best and to the other posters too. We will do better and hopefully, the next generation will benefit from our efforts. They already are I think. I don't have kids, but am very proud of all the other's kids.
Interestingly, alcohol was not in my 2 uncle's lives as they abstained (Pioneers, in Ireland the abstinence movement before and along with AA), but the damage was done in the previous generations. Also, there is a kind of a foolish vanity about our "mad *******" mentality that needs to go. One set of cousins were dancing like maniacs (30-40yr olds), and taking the mic and singing (rather well) and the other set were having more normal fun, quieter but enjoying themselves. Then my sibs were tightarses, unable to unwind but in a strange and guarded way, enjoying the get-together. My parents wait for everyone to come to them (and they do). But, I ramble!!!