It does sound like you are on his ride, more than he is on yours.
And really, he should, if he is in recovery, be discussing these options, ideas, and issues with his sponsor, and his group.
You are discussing these things with us, and with him.
he is trapping you into games, baiting and switching.
HOnestly, it does sound like leaving would be best. You could clear the haze, the girls could get some consistency...
I know it is easier said than done, but...Maybe he needs to be ALONE for awhile. If he falls off, and drinks, then its his. Will he blame your leaving? Probably!
If you stay and he falls off and drinks will he blame your controlling(boundary making)? Probably!
I am having codie feelings for you---I want you to get some peace, and if moving away gets that for you, maybe yes, its the best thing...
And remember this is coming from a person who is also still engaging with my RAH, however less day to day.
HE calls...He wants to come by (usually his offer to come by is when son is gone, or asleep!?)...
It just sounds like such a drain, when you, by all rights should be able to lessen your anxiety about losing your position at work by focusing on it, and taking action.
He is throwing sticks in your spokes, big time!
I am sending you strength to make a decision, and feel strong. EITHER WAY>