You and I are doing the same thing! My husband is my drinking buddy and we live way, way out in the country. We do drive into a local bar but he expects me to be his partner. I'm afraid if I don't he'll think about someone more fun.
Maybe you could go out somewhere. I know it sounds scary but then he can drink and have fun, you can not drink and pretend to have fun. And you can drive home.
We should talk.
I even used to do the choking panic thing. And I'm a strong gal. I did the "I can't breathe thing" until they took blood gasses. That's a cure for that.