This makes no sense to me at all. For whatever reason my heart wants him to at least try to contact me. The other part is scared to have him try.
One of the last things I said when we talked was, "We're not even on the same page anymore". His reply was "We're not even in the same book". To me that sounds like he also came to the realization that we were done. Yet if that is true, why is the cell phone not shut off?
I'm getting to the point that if he's going to contact me or show up I wish it would kinda just happen so I don't have to wonder everyday if that will be the day.
I don't feel very strong today, feel like I'm backsliding. Miss him like crazy, still maintaining no contact though.
I didn't sleep well last night so maybe that plays a big part in the way I am feeling.
I did manage to take a walk around the block this morning before work. Ran a couple of errands after work. Came home and tried to take a nap and wasn't able to sleep so I went to the tanning bed.
Confused on why one day I feel so strong and the next day I'm a complete mess. I am trying not to focus on him, but he's not that easy to forget. It's kinda ironic that our last day together was exactly five months from the day we were supposed to get married.
I know I should feel like I dodged a huge bullet, but I'm just not there yet. Dang this is hard.
Thank you for reading.