Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
So she's taking another hostage, eh? Well, for her husband's sake, it's probably a good thing. It's unfortunate your parents (and, presumably, her children) have to suffer through all this drama, though.
So far as your parents go, you may have to work more on detaching from THEM than you do the sister. They are really the ones you'd like to "save" here. Maybe you could talk to your mom about some of what you're learning about detachment. Does your mom live nearby? Maybe you could bring her along to some Al-Anon meetings. She probably qualifies by virtue of the RAH. It's a skill that would benefit her greatly, it seems.
So true...I need to be prepared that they will continue to enable my sister in her madness, as that is also a long standing pattern. My brother and I often wonder how we got the shaft in this picture...we both had to work at 16, work throughout college, and work steadily ever since. My sister - well - one would think she is a trust fund kid. And she's not! Can you imagine getting to age 35 and never having worked? Anywhere?!
Mom lives really close by - upstairs to be exact! ; ) at least for another week. And yes, I am seriously 12-steppin her right now. She's pretty upset, and my Dad is just pissed off. Good news is they are excited about my new house (bought and paid for by ME) and that I need nothing from them right now.
*SIGH* I feel very bad for the BIL. He's really a good man. She was lucky he stuck around and endured her hostility for as long as he did. Yes, he would be better off without her in his life.
Thanks, all for your great input!
I continue detaching...no way I am getting overly involved in this drama fest. I have much more calm and serene things to do with my time these days!