Hi everyone, I'm usually in the FF of alcoholics section, but in reality I could frequent both as my husband is both an alcoholic and addict. His drug of choice is hydrocodone (sp?) although he has done crack and heroin (1x...says he "didn't like it"). Well, here's the thing..he has come to the realization that he needs help, finally, after a family crisis. No one, including me has pushed him into going to rehab..he just say's he is sick of living this way. Good deal, I hope. He goes into rehab hopefully by Friday.
His big thing is replacing one drug with another. For instance..he started abusing hydrocodone in 2006, right after his step father passed away. His using got out of control, so he started smoking pot to try to get off of the pills. Then since I griped at him all the time (he says) because of his pot smoking (I didn't know he was using hydrocodone), he went back to pain pills. Well, then once that got out of hand again, he started drinking A LOT, ok, he decided he needed to stop drinking, so he started smoking crack..he had never done it before, says he really didn't even know what it was but his "buddy" told him it was not addictive (hahaha..omg yeah) so he went on a 2 week binge with that and got out of hand, he started stealing from his mom (checks), stole from me, sold everything he had in his garage and beyond...well, you get the picture. And finally after 2 weeks of me wondering (how stupid am I???) what the hell was going on, he came "clean". Told me everything, cried like a baby. I consoled him, cried with him, told him he needed help of course. He went into rehab...lasted about 4 days called me saying he was "done" with drugs and alcohol he wanted to come home. I go get him. As soon as he gets out (he confessed later on), he went and scored pills. SIGH. Ok, so got outta hand with that again, and he starts drinking (and doing pills..gah). Well anyway, this could go on a while, but his drinking got worse and worse and he dabbled in crack again (went on a weekend smoking spree..stole again from his mom to buy the crap), and came "clean" to me again. Then started drinking like crazy and that is where he is now. BUT he admitted to doing hydrocodone just 2 weeks ago. Said he is completely DONE with them (as if I believed him, even though I wanted to), but yet yesterday my food stamp card went missing...low and behold, he gave a guy the card for PILLS!!
I'm crushed, yet again. He cried, begged me to forgive him. SIGH AGAIN.
So, could someone tell me, does he have a conscience? Is that just the mind of an addict/alcoholic? How could he, why does he? He is set on going to rehab..he cries all the time lately because he says he hates this life but he needs help..what do I believe? I'm confused and am hoping someone can shed a bit of light on this for me. Yes, I am a codie, but since joining here, I am taking big steps toward being a "normie". But I don't want to leave him, I just want him better and pray for him to get better everyday. I know it's not up to me for him to get well, but I feel he is ready by the way he acts. Please help. Thanks.