TD
Anything that needs to be revealed with be in time. Rushing or pushing always seems to turn out badly....at least it has in my experience.
I hope you will allow your wife the room to figure out herself. And I hope that the facility she is in has a really good family program. The first time my son was in an in patient rehab, I began to heal and it's a long process that never really seems to end. I've learned so much in the last four + years. I learned more at that rehab than I think he did....and much of it was learned from recovering addicts/alcoholics.
Welcome to SR.....there is a lot of support here and so many people who have been walking this path of loving an addict/alcoholic. With all that goes on, we often become every bit as sick as they do but there is hope for all of us.
I hope you stick around....you are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke