Hi Sprmn24,
You are important part of your relationship, and you should be treated with respect. You have given your love, your time, and your home to this man. Basically you have given your life to him, and you are losing yourself in the process.
It is very admirable that you want to help him and this shows that you are a kind person. However, your kindness is not being appreciated. You have a right to say no to drinking outside the home and even inside the home, it is your place.
It may be the hardest thing you have to do, because you love him so much, but you cannot go on living like this, it is hurting both of you. You need to take care of yourself first, your feelings are important. Don't let him take them for granted. Only you know in your heart and mind what you need to do, now stay strong and take the first step.
Good luck to you,
Stacy