TD, I felt like this too. I wanted all the answers, then maybe, just maybe, i would actually understand. For years i watched a person I love destroy their life. I just didnt get it, WHY on earth would you drink yourself to destruction and death? I wanted to know if she was ok and what she was doing. I drove myself crazy trying to figure things out, so I started learning more about addiction and all that goes with it. This helped me so much. Even as I learnt more, I was still frustrated, angry and lost, I couldnt help her and I still needed answers. I knew the answers didnt matter anymore, she was an addict lost in that world.
But you know what TD, after she died, I was cleaning her house and found journals after journals of her time in rehabs. I poured my heart out reading this. Was I going to get the answers I needed? Sure, alot of what I read, I already knew but some of it I wish I never knew.
TD, have hope, learn more about her addiction, it may help you understand more. Try not to worry about what you dont know, stay positive, look after you and your child. Your wife when the time is right for her (god willing) will look for sobriety.
JJ