Thanks for some post they really helped.
Some don't at all, and I gonna tell why. First of all, English isn't my mother tounge, so some times its really hard to express myself in a foreign language.
Im not a upset or get defensive like some of u guys try to tell me and I am also not confused or crazy. This forum is there to discuess things right?
So I actually was asking a simple question, drinking at the bar or at home???
I can see why it is not so easy to acutally answer that. And I guess there is not a right or wrong.
Somebody said, well he lost friends, family, job etc. But all that didn't happenend from one day to the other. Other say, the best think would be to let him go, the only chance for him to recover. Well yes and no. I don't believe in that though love thing, for one simple reason. Think about interventions, usally family and friends hold an intervention, all people they love the alcoholic, right? Alot of times those are working. Tho if u as a person alcoholic or not, loose everything in ur life, thats kinda frustrating, even for somebody, who doesn't drink. I read a lot of stories about recovering Alcs, and hey did u guys read the same I did. How many Alcoholics where there, they said, if my wife, girlsfriend, husband, boyfriend or whatever loved one, hadn't been there, they didn't know if they ever had changed. I understand and I know, that the process or the willing has to come from the addicted person by himself.
But I don't like how some people here write about and alcoholic. Is it why they are frustrated in their own lifes,they didn't see the Addict to recover?
I mean for centurys grandmas told their kids, they gonna get a bladderinfection just by sitting on a cold stone. Thats wrong for a fact. So who says, tough love is the right thing to do???? Who says, because it works for one person, its gonna work for the other. I read there are so many different typs of alcoholism, like there a leaves on a tree.
I don't believe he can control his drinking completly. But I know from that times, when i didn't know that he is a problem drinker, that he was drinking at my place and he never got that loaded, then when he goes to a bar.
Some of u said, that there rather had their man, in the bar, then at home drinking. Well in the end, i guess there is not difference, because u gonna have to deal with him drunk, one way or the other. If he gets drunk at home or at the bar. The result he is drunk.
Somebody said, deal with it or not. Yes, I do deal with it, thats why i tried this forum, and I am a little bit disappointed the way people replay, but thats the way discuession s are. Its ok.
What helpes me alot to concentrate more on myself and don't have to try to resuce him. But i just can not be so cold hearted. Even if I think, that there a people where tough love maybe worked.
But sometimes u just have to see thinks from alot of different sides. Maybe there is just not a right and wrong! Guess i didn't asked the question right.
Thanks everybody.