This goes back to something I posted on another thread last week.
Traits and
behaviors are two different things.
Apparently, you possess the traits of empathy and compassion. Those are neither positive or negative, they just are. Some would argue that those traits are inherently positive, but I disagree because they can manifest in negative ways, as you observed.
Anyway, it doesn't really matter if you acquired these traits through healthy or unhealthy role modeling. In fact, it doesn't even matter if they are inborn (nature vs. nurture). You have them. And if you are over the age of 13 or so, there's probably not a lot you can do to change them. What you can change is how they manifest in your life. (behavior)
Behaviors are both external and internal. You seem to have a handle on the external, since you resisted the urge to "kiss him and make him better," lol. But, behaviors are also internal. You felt an attraction to his woundedness (is that a word?). Somewhere along the line, your psyche associated empathy and compassion with attraction. Possibly even pity with love. Those associations can be changed, but they are much more difficult than changing the external behavior. This is something I know I will be working on for the rest of my days.
The work I'm speaking of requires awareness, which you seem to have in spades. So, in my opinion, you are doing the work and maybe not quite as sick as you think.
I say--WAY TO GO!
L