I know it doesn't feel like you have any control over your life situations right now, but you do.
You can't control him being a selfish, abusive jerk, but you can control how much (if any) time you spend around him.
You can't control his frustrating behaviors, but you can control how much mental real estate you give him. If he's being annoying, you can work on conciously setting it down. Catch yourself spinning on it and choose not to stress on it. It just IS. It doesn't help to stress on it. Just ACCEPT. Yep. He's being a jerk again. No surprise and no thanks. How can I weed him out of my life situations so his ICK doesn't bleed on me?
You can't control the crummy things arising, but you can control where your awareness is and how you handle it. Attempt working on ACCEPTING the health issue. You don't need to be ashamed. You don't need to be upset or helpless. You can see it for what it is and make choices (right now) that care for you in regards to it. You can ask for help from others to take care of you and your family.
And, you can remember that despite the crummy things, you have many wonderful blessings in your life. In fact, this setback might bring you unexpected gifts. Perhaps you can look at how you are benefiting from these struggles. If that seems impossible, you can reflect on the other great things that are in your life.
I have a quote on my wall: Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.
Hang tough,
p