I can understand how you're feeling mirage. I messed up with alcohol and cannot have it in my life anymore.
But I still miss it. I miss the fun times laughing with my friends, the stupid things we would do. I miss feeling the tension leaving my body. Drinking did not always end up in a disaster. Sometimes I would drink, fall asleep and wake up feeling great and ready for the day.
But I remember when I messed up and why I can never drink again. But it's still hard.
It might help to do things that are fun for you. Walking on the beach, watching a great movie, going out to lunch with your friends. You could structure your week so it includes some favorite things and fun time.