I agree. In my situation, the alcohol is just a symptom of his addictive behaviors (added to the list of smoking, sneaking/guilt with porn, sneaking/guilt with shopping). He has issues with honesty, taking ownership/responsibility, introspection/looking and talking about his issues, healthily dealing with stress (not going on the attack, being sarcastic, fatalistic, snappish, or morbid), depression. (Ahh! Talk about taking someone's inventory! LOL! I have yet to know where the line is between me identifying what doesn't work for me and taking someone's inventory!)
Anyway, those could occur in a non-drinker. Those are what doesn't work for me.
It's really not about alcohol at all.
On the other hand, my AH is wonderful in countless ways. Generous, kind, fun, interesting. He's not a big jerk as other's are. In fact, his crummy stuff doesn't come up that often.
Still, the issues above are big enough for me. Especially, since they really come out in times of stress. Well, life is stressful (particularly for him). Having kids and raising them is stressful. Buying a house is stressful. So, I saw more of the junk in the future and it doesn't sound like fun.