Cyranoak... totally agree. That is where I am at. I personally would have never asked if he had been drinking and would have waited to see if there was more quacking(duck behavior) to validate my gut. Behavior is everything. While I care if my AH is drinking, because it is BAD for his health, it is the behavior that comes with drinking that is the problem. If my AH isn't drinking but his behavior is not acceptable that is what matters. As we all have seen here just because someone is not using/drinking doesn't make them a wonderful person. Focus is on me and what I find acceptable. Drinking, not drinking, recovered, not recovered... doesn't improve my relationship... how I am being treated does.