i guess it's the reality setting in. i know that this is really it. there is no going back. maybe that is what has thrown me off. before, i guess in the back of my head i knew i'd see or hear from her and i believed in her getting help.
all the while we were together or in contact, i not only thought of being out of the situation, i thought of things i could do, somehow those things seem meaningless. i guess this is the next wave of depression sinking in. i guess i expected her to have called by now. i guess this is all harder than i thought it would be. i thought i would be so happy and relieved to have a break from her, but i find myself worrying again and missing her (the sober her).