i guess i will just put my feelings down on this thread and let it fly. this feeling is helpless and i go back and forth from feeling good to feeling down. when she was staying with me or we were having regular contact i wanted out so badly, but the longer that is happening, other feelings slip in and start to take over. i know there is nothing i can do. i have learned that. but i also know that there is something about her i can't shake. but i remember what it was like being with an addict and it keeps me somewhat grounded. i am struggling wit ha bit of guilt. the past couple months i lost my cool on a daily basis. i fought w her all the time and i became a mean person. i criticized everything about her and feel horrible about that. its hard for me to live with myself for behaving that way.
i know, i haveto keep working on me. i still have that dream that she will get better one day and recover and we can move on, but i realize the odds are against that.
we have parted. she has to find her own way, as do i. just been feeling quite sad recently.