broomhilde, welcome to SR.
i have been here for less than a month and it is a wonderful place to be. i read your post and i am sorry to hear of what you are going through.
your post caught my eye b/c our situations are very similar. my husband is also addicted to coke. we have 2 small children and third one on the way and i have been staying w/ my parents for the past 3 wks.
i found out about my husband's coke use about 3 yrs ago and at that time he actually talked to me about it and it seems that he has been using for over 5 yrs now (even before we got married, wish i knew that one).
that night that we talked about all night when he admitted to using "once in a blue moon" i also asked about his friends. and to my amazement it turned out that all these people that were in and out of my home and some of his coworkers were all users. i never knew.
he even gets it from his coworker. he is laid off now, but has kept all the same drug using/dealing friends.
even to this day i do not know the extent of his coke use. i do remember at one point him "hanging out" every day.
talking to his family is not a bad move. hopefully it will work and they will take you seriously and take your side. it helps if they are willing to educate themselves about his habit b/c otherwise they won't be able to help much.
in my case, he did admit to his use to his parents at Thanksgiving last year. they came harsh down on him at time and demanded that he stop. which he promised he would.
now, i have called his mom when i left to tell her the reason of him going over to his friend again and IMO getting high. he denied it to me and them, but refused to take a drug test. they (his parents) told me they wanted to stay out of it b/c we needed to work it out. now they are 100% behind him b/c i have kids w/ me and he hasn't seen them since i left. the last message from his mom is saying that she will see me in court. so much for the wonderful in laws.
i don't mean to ramble on w/ my stuff, but i'm hoping that it will help you b/c we seem to be in about the same boat. this is not the first time i left or kicked him out, but hopefully is the last as long as he does not get some real help.
it took me a lot of time to get here. i am still trying to stop "helping him". now i know that no matter what i do it is in vain until he does things for himself.
stay strong and take care of yourself. keep coming back for more support.
my hugs and prayers are w/ you.
