Hey bearington:
You have hit the nail on the head. Oxycodone is an insidiously addictive poison that will suck you down into hell and fast.
In spite of how sick you feel right now, you have barely gotten your feet wet as far as addiction is concerned. You have stepped close to and fallen into the fire, and you have burned but you are not too far gone yet.
What you see happening to you is how deep addiction occurs. It often swoops up those of us who probably battle some degree of depression. At first, it SEEMS like such a miracle drug! Hey! You can DO this, and then NOT do this if you don't want. But soon, you start coming back for more. And more.
What you describe is so classic for how people get in so far they don't think they can ever escape. You aren't there yet.
Grab this opportunity to get free of the OX before it gets even harder to stop.
You can do this.
My son is a recording musician and tells me the music scene has a lot of drug access. He's clean, but wasn't at one time. When he found out I was addicted to oxys, he just about freaked out. His mom! He begged and pleaded for me to stop. It did influence me, but it took more than that. I wanted the pills more than anything for awhile. I've been clean since December 15.