Oh, here's the other quote I was looking for...finally found it. (These concepts are authored by Marsha Linehan, the developer of Dialectical Behavior Therapy and this is part of one of her lectures...)
So this quote really begins at the TOP of this thread...but here it is..I like the way she breaks it down:
There may be an infinite number of really painful things that can happen to you. But there are not an infinite number of responses you can make to pain. In fact, if you sit back and think about it, there are only four. There are only four things you can do when painful problems come into your life.
What do you think they are? Think for a minute. A problem is in your life, pain, suffering, something you don't want in it. How can you respond?
Well the first thing you could do is you could do is you could solve the problem. You can figure out a way to either end the painful event or you could figure out a way to leave the situation that's so painful. That's the first thing you could do. Solve the problem.
What's the second thing you could do? You could try to change how you feel about the problem; to figure out a way to take a negative in your life and make it into a positive. Alright, so that's the second thing you could do.
What's your other option? You could accept it. So that's the third thing you can do. You could just accept the problem.
Ok. That's not everything you could do. There is a fourth alternative. What do you think it is? You could stay miserable. That's the only other option you've got.
So you've got to either solve it, change how you feel about it, accept it, or stay miserable.